a handkerchief sandwich

I can’t even. Professor Bloom, I have never been happier to have opted out of your journalism classes while in college. This largely offensive and disasteful article is filled with little more than tired cliches, gross generalizations and feeble imagery. I hope Bloom takes the time to read the comments section, because (most, though not all) people make some excellent, and painfully obvious, points on things he happened to have “missed” while living in Iowa City.

I’m legitamitely raging right now.

This is the first year in a long while that I think they really fucked up in many, many ways. Most disappointing, for me, is Andrew Garfield getting snubbed in every way possible. Also, nothing for Never Let Me Go or Ryan Gosling or Christopher Nolan or Julianne Moore? Fucking bullshit. 

Seriously? Fuck you, CBS.

Unanswered Lost Questions— THESE ARE ALL THE FUCKING QUESTIONS I WANTED ANSWERED! Seriously, hearing them all of these at once just made me more unbearably angry that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WAS EXPLAINED. 

FROM ARTICLE: 4. I mean, seriously. It’s not as though this film’s target audience will have even heard of the original Soapdish. You know who will have heard of it, though? People who don’t want it to be remade.

EXACTLY. So annoying! My sister is going to flip a bitch.

Description from the website: Usually funny coloring books aren’t very funny. This one is. A neat little guide to all of the Muslims in the world who aren’t terrorists and don’t want to kill you. Get one now before Kareem Abdul-Jabbar sues the guys who made it for using his likeness and takes away all of their coloring books.

I just emailed a complaint about this so-called coloring book sold by none other than American Apparel. I’m also going to send a hand written one tomorrow, as they usually have a little more impact. I encourage you all to spend the ~35 cents to mail a complaint or even just the five minutes to write a quick email, because this “book” is even more blatantly offensive and disgusting than their usual shit.

I just found out the tickets to the Margret Atwood lecture at USC on Friday are $50. Well worth it? Probably. But coming from the University of Iowa, where I went to multiple readings a month over the course of four years—all for free— that featured some of the best writers in the country, I’m hesitant to pay. We’ll see.

Kevin Zegers, one of my favorites since Airbud, is joining the cast of Gossip Girl for a multi-episode arc. I love Gossip Girl, but this is some bullshit. Kevin is too good for this show, and it annoys me that he is going to be on this show. To add insult to injury, he will be playing Jenny’s love interest. I mean, come on. At least his appearance on House years ago was legit. I’m hoping his run on Gossip Girl will bring him more attention, so that he can move on to much bigger and better things. Things that don’t involve Hillary Duff and The Story of Bonnie and Clyde, which he begins filming relatively soon.

My car got broken into last night. I’m really pissed off, but also extremely grateful that it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as it could have been. They took my emergency cash, which was only $30 dollars, threw a bunch of my stuff around and took my insurance card (Um, what the fuck?). Nothing big was stolen, my seats weren’t ripped into and no windows were bashed in. It still sucks though, because I’ve always felt incredibly safe (as safe as my I-know-I’ll-die-by-a-murder self complex I’ve had my whole life will let me). I mean, come on, I live in GLENDALE and my car is in a gated parking garage at a condo complex. So, word to the wise, it can happen anywhere to anyone.

Dear Diary: Fox is developing a contemporary take on the 1989 Christian Slater/Winona Ryder feature “Heathers.” Rizzo is still kicking around ideas on how to update “Heathers” 20 years after the film became a favorite among the underground set. But the characters from the movie are all expected to be there — Veronica Sawyer (played in the movie by Ryder), J.D. (Slater) and the “Heathers.”

This makes me want to punch someone in the face. Twice.